September 2010
you confuse me.. new guy..
I don’t know what to make of it..
new guy.. you confuse me..
we meet up, have awesome sex, and then I email you thanking you (yes I’m retarded I know lol) and saying how awesome you are.. you don’t respond, you delete my message on plenty of fish.. so I leave it alone for a day..
I call you and you tell me that its been a bad weekend and things are a gong show, cool I can deal...
dunno.. overwhelmed?
I am trying to wrap my head around alot of things lately..
maybe i’ve been working too much and need to slow down, but I do want to make sure I can pay my crap off cause of my expenditures.. eh hem.. shopping LMAO..
needless to say.. horny, lonley, tired, and cold are not a good mix most days of the week.. and with all the weird attention I’ve been getting (aka boys.. so not used to...
ramble ramble ramble..
I have no idea why I’m so hung up on brandon still.. I guess its going to take a lot longer then I hoped to get him outta my system.. I still think of him awesome and often.. and it still hurts.. i’m still staring out the window at work hoping I might get an email from him or something and its like who am I kidding.. one day I’ll get it..
in other news..
I had applied for a job...
done
I got brandon’s response this morning.. woke up to go to the washroom at about 6.. and read it.. started tearin up.. re-read it after I got back from the washroom and it was like the floodgates opened.. my heart friggen hurts..
I won’t be able to pretty much talk to him ever again.. he’s made that pretty clear.. just for his fiancee’s sake.. he wasn’t mean about it.....
ugh.. sucha girl.. lol
I..
I did the stupidest thing and I don’t even know why.. I sent brandon an email..
telling him I missed him.. and ugh pretty much proclaiming my sheer stupidity and how I missed him and honestly at this point I think just fallen completely for him.. pretty darn close to love but I can’t even bring myself to think that..
he’s in love with jen.. I’ve become a second...